3 Months!

Yesterday Talia turned 3 months old, and we celebrated by leaving her with Kevin's family and going on my longest outing without her. I'd previously only left her for 2 hours, and this was 5 hours! Oh how I cried!!! We decided it wasn't worth taking her to Sounders games anymore, since none of us has had much fun on our previous 2 attempts! So Friday we packed up and headed to the island for a full family visit!

This girl is becoming a pro at riding the ferries!

Snuggles from grandma and grandpa Dewey!

It was really hard to leave her, I cried a lot!  But I knew she was in very capable hands with her aunt Erin, uncle Adam, grandma and grandpa Shaffer, and her cousins Corbin and Eliza! They were doing the annual cider pressing, so there were lots of hands on deck and fun going on!

Kevin and I had a great time at the game, especially when we started winning!  I enjoyed my first alcoholic beverage in a year, though I probably won't be drinking again for some time. It didn't really agree with my tummy, and I hated having to pump and dump.  Timing her feeding and my drinking just didn't work well for me to keep it!  All that beautiful milk down the drain! :)

She did great though, and even got to be fed by her little cousins, which is pretty cute and fun!  It made me feel good that I can actually get away for a few hours, but boy did I miss her!!! I smothered her with kisses like crazy when we got in the door!

In a complete reversal of previous weeks, Talia has gone from not sleeping at all to sleeping like a crazy person! It started last Friday when she actually took 3 naps, and then slept for a 5 hour stretch. She has continued to sleep really well during the day, napping at least 2 hours for one of the naps and then another hour or 2 for her other naps most days.  The crazy thing though has been her night sleep!  She has increased the length every night, for a record of ten hours (!!!!!!!!) straight on Friday night!!!! What?!  I could not believe it! And of course could not enjoy it because I had to get up and pump twice during the night and was really not sure how long she should sleep! I let her go though and she just kept snoozing away!  Last night was a much more reasonable sleep, just waking once at 2:45am.  I can't believe I'm saying that I'm glad she woke up in the middle of the night, but since she went from eating every couple hours all night long to not waking a single time, my body was completely out of sync and producing way more milk than she was eating!  But I'm soooooo happy she is sleeping well for now, and hope it continues!

We've been having her sleep exclusively in her room and it's working pretty well! Kevin and I don't have to creep around in the evening as much, and can enjoy some time before we go to bed to read it talk!  We've also been putting her down for her naps when she is drowsy rather than totally rocking her to sleep, so that she learns how to soothe herself to sleep.  It has been going really well! Kevin is really good at it, I need some practice and to not be scared of her waking up right away! :)  We are kind of nap crazy right now, since she is so much more fun and happy when she has slept! Which we realize we need to chill about a bit, especially when visiting family who aren't used to waking around on eggshells anymore. It's hard to relax though, I have PTSD from the last couple months of sleepless days and nights!! 

She's becoming more and more fun every day!  She's becoming more and more aware of everything around her, taking more interest in people and the world around her.  When we go for walks in the stroller, she looks around tons instead of falling asleep.  She smiles socially, and is giving little kisses to me and Kevin.  She still hasn't giggled, but she lets you know when she thinks something is funny!  

Her dexterity is improving all the time.  She easily holds onto things and even accidentally threw a couple items this weekend!  She's got almost complete control of getting her hands to her mouth, which means she can soothe herself pretty well!  She loves kicking her activity mat pals around, and babbles away at them.  

She's still my tiny little thing, maybe closing in on 12 pounds in the next week.  But she's getting little rolls in all the right places, and is bright eyed and happy, so I try not to worry about it as much as I used to!  

Happyn3 months to the prettiest little lady, looking forward to seeing what this month brings! Hopefully giggles and some sitting up and more rolling over!

10 weeks!

IThese last couple of weeks have brought more joy than frustration, more laughter than tears!  Talia is growing into a pretty alright kind of gal, and I feel like I am settling into motherhood a bit more.  We are getting a good rhythm to our days together.  I'm learning her cues for when she is hungry or tired better, which is translating into a far less grumpy Talia!

She is cooing a ton!  The other night I was singing to her while getting her ready for bed.  I was trying desperately to think of lullabies, and coming up short! Then I remembered "somewhere out there" from  An American Tail is soft and sweet and began singing it. Wouldn't you know, she chimed right in with her own additions!  It was so sweet, and definitely the most interactive she's been! 

She's on the verge of giggling. I know it might be another few weeks, but she gets this adorable anticipatory squirm and huge grin when we do something she thinks is funny.  She had made some one syllable "ha" sounds very once in awhile. For now though, that smile of hers is pretty much the most incredible thing in the world to me.  If she's been cranky for awhile and I can coax a grin out, oh the sweetness! 

She's playing a ton with her animals on her playmat.  She's figured out she can hit and kick them, and occasionally does it with purpose.  Recently, when reading books to her, she has started reaching out and touching the pages.  Methinks it is time to get some tactile books on her shelf like Pat the Bunny!

I think I am about ready to put weight worries behind me.  At her 2 month checkup, her doctor suggested I try pumping first thing in the morning before feeding her to see how I get. If I got between 3-4 ounces, she thought that was great. If not, I could start looking into doing some things to increase my supply.  The first time I did it. I got about 2.75 ounces. Very close.  So I decided to try out some fenugreek to see if that would help bump me up, and also eating more oats and drinking mothers milk tea everyday.  Last weekend when I pumped, I got 3.5 ounces one morning, and 3.75 the next!  Yay!!! Those sessions were then bottled up and fed to her by Kevin, those killing two birds with one stone! We apparently are supposed to give her a bottle a couple times a week to make sure she keeps taking one.  We hadn't done that! :) but she has zero issues with the bottle, she just wants her food!

I've also been pumping once each morning now after her first nursing when we have gotten up for the day. I've gotten varying amounts depending on if I wait 20 minutes versus closer to an hour, but I'm pleased with the little stockpile I am building in the freezer for those date nights and Sounders games Kevin and I need to go on! :) 

I also got her weighed this week at a drop in breastfeeding support group.  I was hoping against hope that she had maintained her half ounce a day weight gain, so was thinking she would be about 10 lbs 1 ounce.  To my surprise and delight, she came in just over 10 lbs 7 oz!!!  That's nearly an ounce a day in the last two weeks! Woohoo! I don't know how much was the fenugreek, and how much was just her wanting to pack on a little more, but I was thrilled! I've stopped taking the fenugreek, so I am going to go back in 2 weeks again to check in, but obviously we can do this! I might need to be more diligent about keeping up my supply, but I know I have the capacity now!

Today has been awesome.  She had a really good sleep last night, only waking at 1:30 and 5:30, and both times went right back to sleep after eating and diaper change. I woke up at 8am and was enjoying laying in bed.  She started stirring, so I was gearing up for her to start crying. I looked over in her bassinet, and her eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling with this huuuuuge grin on her face! She has never woken up happy!! So I let her lat there for a bit, then decided to pull her in bed and see if I could get a cuddle out of her, which never works. She usually starts screaming if we don't get down to business of eating. But this time she stayed happy and we played in bed for about 10 minutes before she got restless! It was wonderful!!!!!  Then late this morning, I took a blanket outside to see if she would lay in the shade and be happy. We played outside for about 30 minutes! Yay!!!! She's not just a crying eating pooping machine anymore!

Naps are going so much better. We started swaddling her (duuuuuuh) and got a white noise app on my old phone, plus my yoga ball back from a friend.  She is usually asleep within 5 minutes of bouncing on it, and stays asleep anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 hour 45 minutes! Which means I can get some things done around the house (quietly, she still wakes easily from household noise) and get some me time! I am currently sitting in the backyard enjoying the sunshine and a little lunch!  

So another couple of weeks, and a lot of wonderful changes!  We are enjoying her so much, and I know I say this every post, but I can't wait to see what the next 2 weeks will bring!

2 Months Old!!!

Holy smokes, we've kept her alive for 2 months!  Talia is becoming more and more awesome by the day as her world expands! She's smiling up a storm, is on the verge of her first real laugh, is so inquisitive about the works around her, and seems like she might start rolling over any day now, if only I would stop cuddling her all the time! 

It is so amazing how much she has changed in her short life. She's gone from a little lump who only cries, eats, and sleeps to this amazing little person with a huge personality!  We can tell she's going to be a little spitfire, and she's definitely got a sense of humor! She's fascinated by the world, quite to the detriment of her ability to sleep! There's just too much to learn about and stare down!!!  

She's discovered she has hands and feet, and is getting very good at sticking her hands in her mouth, which is super handy for her self-soothing!  She ADORES her daddy, absolutely lighting up for him when he comes home or he plays with her! She's starting to like nursery rhymes (which means I should probably learn a few more!) and sometimes will sit and listen to us read a book to her!  

She is still a tiny thing, weight-wise.  I'm guessing she hit 10 pounds today if her weight trend has stayed the same.  I'm trying some things to boost my milk supply, as it does appear to be on the low side, but our pediatrician isn't too concerned with her weight at this point.  She is loooong though! Definitely taking after Kevin, long and lean!

I still am not in love with breastfeeding, but it's getting easier! And not having to deal with bottles is great! As long as she keeps growing, I'm trying very hard bit to stress about it, which is hard for me! But it's so important to be relaxed, otherwise it's a viscous cycle of not producing enough because I'm stressed I'm not producing enough! Ha!

Being home alone with her is getting easier and more fun. We have a rhythm to our days, not a schedule.  We sleep in,  I run around and get some things done while she's content, we eat, we try to nap, and we try to get out of the house every day! Sometimes a walk to the park, or a trip to the grocery.  I'm hoping we will start meeting up with more people who have babies soon, which will require me breaking out of my shy shell! :)

We are on our first real trip this week! Kevin had work in Sandpoint, Idaho, and long before she was born we thought it would be a fun trip for me and her to tag along for! And it has been!  We took off on Monday and drove out here, normally a 5-6 hour trip.  It took us about 9! We had to stop a couple times for some good long stretches and nursing sessions! She was totally awesome, content in her car seat until about 40 minutes outside of town! Not shabby!  I had bought a couple pacifiers before we left for emergency use in the car, and we were both glad to have them!  We don't want to use them much, but it definitely made the end of the trip easier on all of us!  While Kevin is working, she and I have filled our time with wandering town, hanging at the beach, and enjoying the fact that I don't need to do anything other than be with her for a few days! No dishes or laundry!  Yay!!!

I can't wait to see what this little girl is up to in another month!  We might have some laughs and some rolling over!!!  And for sure, she just gets cuter every single day! :)

6 weeks

Talia is 6 weeks old today! She is smiling lots more, sleeping really well at night, refusing to nap during the day except in arms or on the hammock, learning how to get her digestive system to work a little better, slowly but surely gaining weight, and getting prettier and prettier by the hour! :)

We've had a pretty great week! While I'm still not loving breastfeeding, and she is still a super weird eater, I've basically given in to the fact that this is the way it's going to be for a while! I'm getting much better at nursing her on the go, which opens up a lot of flexibility! I still can't believe how difficult and emotional it is, but I'm so glad that so far I've been able to nourish her from my own body and give her such a good start at life!

We had an island adventure, visiting all of the grandparents, plus many aunties and uncles! Talia and my youngest brother Joseph finally got to meet! He lives in San Diego, and doesn't get to come home too often! 

Kevin and I went on our first date! We celebrated our 6 year anniversary on Sunday, and wanted to go out for our traditional BBQ and ice cream date and reread our vows to each other. Kevin's entire family got to babysit!  We left a bit of breastmilk in case she got super cranky, and left her in the very capable hands of her Shaffer family! I of course cried before we even left the house, but once we were on our way, it was good to just have a little alone time with my husband!

It was a much more enjoyable trip to the island than our last visit! It is amazing how much we have all changed in a few weeks! Talia is getting much easier to handle, even though she is a pretty cranky baby, and I've turned an emotional corner for sure! I basically sobbed the whole time we were there last time, and this time it was just a lot of fun!

Gramma Pat gets some loves!

Grandpa Larry tries to calm our little fuss-bucket!

Content on Grammy Susan!

The whole Shaffer family managed a photo!  It was awesome having everyone home together!  I think my favorite part was how into the baby Corbin is!  He asked so many sweet questions, and at one point said the cutest thing, ever!  I was nursing her on the couch, and he said, "She's soooo cute when she's milking!"  Love it!

We also had a few adventures at home. Kevin ended up giving her a bottle for the first time the other day. We wanted to introduce it, so she will hopefully take one when we need her to!  It was actually really hard for me, I guess nursing her isn't all that bad! It was so good to give Kevin the experience of feeding her, though! And she had no issues taking the bottle. She guzzles those couple ounces right down! It made me a little envious of bottle feeders, because it was so quick!!!

We also bought a new car!  We had initially thought we could get away with only having one car for awhile, but the closer we got to the end of Kevin's leave, the more the logistics of it all seemed to point to us needing a second vehicle!  So after Kevin did a lot of homework and test drove some cars on his own, we all headed to Kirkland the other day for me to try them out!

We spent the whole day trying to decide between an Accord and an Elantra. I really wanted the elantra, I loved the way it drove, it felt comfortable, and was not a huge car! As a pretty uncertain and new driver, I wanted to feel confident! While the accord had many pros, at the end of the day I was completely in love with the elantra, and after Kevin took both cars for one last spin, he agreed!  So now I have my first car!!! And she is a beaut!  Maybe Talia will end up driving it!

Talia was a complete trooper the whole day, only for really cranky while we were signing the paper work, and then when Kevin was driving home she had an absolute meltdown and we ended up pulling off in a parking lot so I could nurse her a little! 

We also had tickets to go the the Seattle Reign women's soccer game that night, so after a quick pit stop at home, we headed into the city to catch the second half!

Now we are trying to relish our last couple days with Kevin home with us! It's going to be really hard having him go back to work, I've relied on him so much, and he's going to miss Tali like crazy!  We will have a whole new routine to try to get used to! Hopefully in the next few weeks she and I will settle into things, and maybe, just maybe she'll take a nap in her crib again someday!! For now, this is how we get it done:

Talia is 4 weeks old!

Hard to believe we've had our girl for 4 weeks already! It's gone by in a blink in some ways, and feels like an eternity in others ( namely the sleep department!)

We are starting to figure things out.  She likes to sleep on us, particularly when being fed, which has led to a lot of frustration and anxiety for me.  I'd say 80 percent of my thoughts have been consumed with some worry about her getting enough food, if what I'm eating is the cause of her less than normal bowels, if letting her always fall asleep while nursing is going to cause problems later, if her latch will ever look right to me, and on and on and on!  I've exhausted myself with worry, and am trying to step back and just enjoy my beautiful baby girl!  

We had a weigh in yesterday, and while she is definitely small, she is consistently gaining a good amount of weight.  So it must be working!  She was 8 lbs 11 oz yesterday, up 6 oz over 7 days which is great!  So now I have to trust this system for the next 2 weeks, and try to not let myself fall into a bad pattern of worry again!

She's changed so much since we brought her home!  She's making lots of eye contact, and had given us a few smiles in the last couple days!!!  She's so interested in the world around her, often to the detriment of getting her to sleep!  She had been pretty awesome at night, sleeping for good long stretches, but the last week that went out the window except one blissful night!

Her baby acne has been pretty bad!  I'm ready for it to clear up already! :). It's hard to take photos when she kind of looks like a creature from the deep!

She is super strong, holding up her head for impressively long periods!  She doesn't enjoy tummy time much, but we are trying to make her do it even though it pisses her off and often snaps her content periods.

She's been on her first ferry rides to see all her grandparents, and had an adventure to see her daddy play soccer the other night! He even scored a goal for her!  I'm getting more comfortable with nursing on the go.  I'm ready to understand her eating schedule a little better though, as we seem to run into her hungry times at somewhat difficult times!

We definitely have a thumb sucker on our hands.  It's good in that she can self sooth sometimes when she manages to find her hands, but also something we aren't sure about long term! We will probably end up giving her a pacifier, but until I feel a little better about her latch, we think we should wait to avoid "nipple confusion."  Same goes for a bottle.

I've pumped a couple times, and think it is pretty darn cool!  I love seeing the milk come out and knowing that I really am producing food for her!  I'm looking forward to having a little stash so I can feel comfortable leaving her with Kevin or a sitter for more than an hour!

Because of her style of eating, I've been encouraged to feed her often.  It's been hard for me.  I'm such an on the go person, I have a really hard time sitting still every other hour, often for an hour!  But I'm trying to embrace it, since everyone says I'll miss it someday! :). 

She's outgrowing her newborn clothes!  I think I'm a little strange in that I'm really looking forward to her bring bigger and more interactive.  Newborns are terrifying and so helpless! :)

I love watching Kevin being a dad!  If ever there was a man who should be a stay at home dad, it's him!  He's so smitten with her, and delights in everything she does!  From giggling about her diaper changes, to staying up with her when she is screaming her head off at midnight, to making sure she gets her prescribed tummy time exercises in, to reading stories to her everyday, he is truly remarkable!  Plus he's been an amazing support for me as I navigate all my myriad emotions about motherhood!  Things are settling down, and we are figuring out how to be a little family together!  

Here's to a crazy first 4 weeks!!!  Our girl will be one month on Sunday!!! We kept her alive for a month! :)

Welcoming Talia Camille!!!

Born on June 27th, at 4:26pm, weighing 7 lbs 15 oz and 20 inches in length!

She is a beautiful perfect little girl, and we couldn't be happier!

She came into the world a little differently than we expected. We'd planned on a home birth, and I was really looking forward to becoming parents in our own space!  But our girl had different plans in mind!

I'd had a terrible sleep on Wednesday, and we had a very busy day on Thursday, going to Kevin's office picnic, shopping, and a big walk around the neighborhood. So of course I was hoping for a good nights sleep that night!  Ha!!

 My water broke the evening of June 26th, and there was definitely meconium in it. We contacted our midwife Tracy, who was actually at the birth center for another birth! We took a sample of the waters for her to check out. While there was meconium, it was pretty light, borderline worrisome. Tracy gave us some options, including going home to rest and assessing the morning, versus going to the hospital that night. I wasn't actually in labor yet, so Tracy would not be able to monitor me and the baby, and there is a risk with meconium that the baby is in distress, or that if she inhaled any of it, there are pretty serious respiratory risks. We thought it over briefly, and decided there was no way either of us would get any sleep if we went home, and the risks outweighed our desire to have a home birth.

So we called Kate up, and she met us at our house to get a bag packed up and headed to UW hospital. They are known for being really respectful of home birth transfers and try to be accommodating to our hopes for a natural birth.

We arrived around 1am, and got situated and checked out by the night doctors. At this point I was finally having very mild contractions, but they talked about if I hadn't progressed by morning we would have to talk about induction.  

When everyone finally left our room around 2:30, bam, my contractions started in earnest! They were 5 minutes apart from the get go, but I was able to breathe through them on my own for the first hour, then Kevin woke up and would help me breathe and hum through them.

We worked together all night, catching little naps between each contraction until about 7am.  Then Kate came in and started having me move into some new positions and massaging my back. I was really tired, but feeling good about my progress.

Details are hazy from here on out! Basically, everytime the doctors would come by to check on me, they would be surprised at how much progress I had made!  They would start to say if I hadn't reached a certain point by the next time they checked, then we would talk about measures to help me progress.  I think I was so determined not to have anything done that I willed my body to make things happen. :)

The first time they checked my dilation, I was 3 centimeters and 80 percent effaced.  Not bad!  At about 10:30am, i think is when I was in active labor. Kate had at some point done some acupressure on my ankles, and that made the contractions get way more intense!

At some point Kate filled the jetted tub and had me get in, and it was instantaneous relief!!! Even though my contractions were getting stronger, they were much easier to deal with in the water, and I was able to fall asleep between them, which was really good as I was so tired!!!

At some point I got out and checked again, and was 4 centimeters and almost 100 percent effaced.  We labored on the toilet some, and then back in the tub.  At some point the doctor even checked my progress while in the tub!!

All through this, it was Kevin and Kate by my side, helping me through the pain and telling me how great I was doing. It was so nice to have 2 people who I love and who love me helping me through it all.  The nurses were there but mostly just in the background, and the doctors popped in periodically to check on my progress.

When I was 8 centimeters, i think that was when I started feeling the urge to push.  I somehow got it in my head that the doctor told me to hold off on pushing so was fighting it for a while.

At about 2pm, I got out of the tub for the last time. I really didn't want to! I was scared out of my mind about the next step, actually pushing her out!!! She was still high in the birth canal, and I had to work pretty hard to move her down.  Kevin and Kate were so encouraging, but everytime a doctor would check me they would say she was still high and it would just deflate me! I felt line her head was right there, how could I not be about the push this kid out?!

We had me try several different positions to try and move her along, including draping myself over the inclined bed, using a squat bar, and laying on my back while Kevin and Kate held up my legs and helped me curl around each contraction to push her along.

At some point, the nurse started inserting her fingers in me to help me direct my pushing. It helped so much to give me somewhere to focus!  We worked like thus for what felt like an absolute eternity!  Kevin could see the progress I was making and was so encouraging! And when he finally was able to see her little head, I looked at him with tears in his eyes and a huge smile on his face and it helped me get the motivation I needed to keep going!

Eventually, her head was far enough out that i could reach down and touch her! I only did it once because it was too distracting for me, but it was so cool!!!  The team of doctors arrived, and I was told that meant baby was almost here!!!

The moment her head got around the pelvic bone and actually coming out was so intense!!! I have never felt anything like it, and frankly don't want to again! ;)  but then her whole head was out and it was such intense relief, I didn't want to push the rest of her out! But I did, and she squirted right out and they immediately placed her on my chest. She was crying and wriggling and oh so perfect and gorgeous!!! I just kept saying " my baby, my baby!!" I knew the second I saw her that she was my Talia, but refrained from saying it out loud so I could talk to Kevin about it!

The doctors were busy stitching me up (a 2nd degree internal tear, not bad!). Oh and Kevin got to cut the cord!  They unfortunately didn't remember that we wanted delayed cord clamping, but she doesn't seem any worse for the wear. Other than that, I think we basically had our home birth but in the hospital!

Talia is pretty awesome! She makes the funniest faces, and we are starting to figure each other out. I have struggled with a lot of emotions in the past week and a half.  I was dealing with a very cracked nipple and a very lazy eater, so nursing was not much fun.  I hit a pretty bad low a couple days ago.  I was crying all the time and feeling really unsure of myself with breastfeeding and general anxiety about having a newborn. It wad a little scary.  Kevin was amazing (as he has been every single moment of this journey!) and just helped walk me through my emotions and be okay with how I was feeling.  Yesterday we had a pediatrician appointment, where Talia was pronounced the picture of perfection! She is gaining weight which made me feel so much more confident in our feedings.  The doctor also said it was totally okay for me to unlatch her after a certain time which had helped tremendously!  She would stay on the breast all day if I let her!   So I'm feeling much better, and beginning to really enjoy our time breastfeeding.   

Talia will be 2 weeks old tomorrow!!  It's hard to believe it's already been 2 weeks, and also feels like she's been in our lives forever!  She's so beautiful and I love watching Kevin being a daddy!

We shall see if I can blog a bit more often as she and I get our schedules in sync!!

Happy 38 weeks!

Whoa!  When did that happen?!  We are officially 38 weeks today, and our little biscuit could arrive any day!!!  Though admittedly, I do not feel any signs of labor, so I think we've got a bit of time left before the big day arrives!

At our baby shower, Kate did a fantastic Guessing Game for the arrival day of Frammy, and I wanted to open up the guessing to everyone!  I've put together a little spreadsheet, feel free to enter your guesses.  Who knows, there may even be a prize involved if you guess the closest!  Anyone who guessed at the shower is welcome to enter again, and you needn't stick with the same date.  This one has a few extra questions, including length, weight, and take a stab at what we might name her.  

Frammy's Due Date Guessing Game

See other's guesses!

How far along? 38 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: +28
Maternity clothes? Yup.  
Stretch marks? Just the ones I already had!
Sleep: New thing this week has been Carpal Tunnel issues.  Hoping they resolve after she arrives!
Best moment this week: Feeling ready for her!
Have you told family and friends: Yup
Miss Anything?  Not really this week.
Movement: My little busy bee has been flipping back and forth every day!
Food cravings:  Yup, still fried eggs!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!
Have you started to show yet: No denying it now!  People don't even think twice about asking me how much longer til she is born!
Gender prediction: It's a GIRL!!!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? Innie. Don't think it's gonna pop!
Wedding rings on or off?  Off, definitely was swelling this week!  They still fit, but don't want them to get uncomfortable around my finger should I continue to swell.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy happy happy girl!
Looking forward to: Labor signs!